Category: Rambling
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Confronting the Diva Pastor: 6 Thoughts for Pastors
A few weeks ago, I began this blog while sitting on a plane trying to make sense of something burning upon my heart. This blog is that attempt to explain a burden that I cannot let go of. After the 18 years of pastoral ministry, one thought continues to repeating come to my mind: This isn’t about…
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Turn the Ship Around: 6 Small Actions to See Change Happen in Your Marriage
I was watching a television show and they were discussing an oil tanker that had run aground. The narrative was building around a man named “Sam” that felt he could’ve done something about the issue long before the ship left the harbor. He is frustrated and calls First Lieutenant Emily Lowenbrau into his office to…
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Complement-less Marriages: 6 Simple Ways to Complement Your Spouse
Proverbs 11:25 The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped. Who doesn’t like a complement? It’s very rare (and I mean rare) where you legitimately find someone who doesn’t enjoy (not necessarily seeking after) a genuine complement. I’m not talking about flattering someone. The purpose of flattery is to get a…
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Pastors and Conflict: 8 Purposeful Actions to Help Heal Conflict
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. I sat in my office very early Monday and journaled about conflict. As a pastor, I recognize that conflict is inevitable. Why? I’m human and I deal with humans. I’m imperfect. I pastor an imperfect congregation. The more I understand that, the…
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Emotional Monarchy: 3 Steps to Prevent Emotions From Ruling Your Life
Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God. Psalm 42:5 (MSG) If you are familiar with me, you know I do deal with bouts of depression. I don’t…
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Foreplay is always “in play”: 6 Ways to Rethink Everyday Encounters with Your Spouse
Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. Hebrews 13:4 (MSG) From the get-go of this blog, please note: The goal isn’t to get more sex into your marriage (though I’m not against that whatsoever). The goal is to develop intimacy. Sex doesn’t necessarily lead to intimacy. Intimacy doesn’t always…
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Silence is NOT Golden: 5 Helps When Silence Hits Your Marriage
The question driving today blog: Is your heart for your marriage stronger than your silence? Isaiah 62:1 For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, And for Jerusalem’s sake I will not keep quiet, Until her righteousness goes forth like brightness, And her salvation like a torch that is burning. Silence can be good. Small increments…
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Pastor Burnout Prevention: 6 Ideas to help you find rest.
(Please note: What you are about to read is more than a pastoral issue. It plagues far too many homes so please read in the context of your vocation.) Something has been burning in my heart a lot lately. Between conversations with pastors and parishioners, and speaking on this subject yesterday at Northpoint Bible College, I felt…
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Assaulted with Assumption: 5 Marital Assumptions to Deal With
It only took me 5 or so years, but I discovered that Anne wasn’t the biggest fan of flowers. It’s not that she doesn’t like them (she confirmed she did), but they didn’t speak to her ANYTHING close to what I thought they were communicating. Through dating and into marriage, I had been buying them…
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Happy wife… Miserable husband: 6 Reasons Why Appeasement Doesn’t Work
You’ve said it, I’ve said it: Happy wife…happy life. Call it nice. Call it sweet. I call it appeasement. It’s a conflict avoidance style that sacrifices your feelings, beliefs, or ideas in order to pacify or please the other person. To some, this seems like a noble identity to assume. After all, keeping peace and harmony in the…
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