New Marriage Series: 7 Habits of Highly Defective Marriages


Some years back, I had come across the famous book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”  It, to this day, is one of the most sold self-help books ever on the market. Since then there have been so many “spin-off” books that have spawned from the original.  My personal favorite was the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens: The Miniature Edition.”  Maybe it was because my life, at the time, was centered around reaching teenagers.  I think it was more so about the size of the book.  Reading hasn’t always been my strong-point and I loved that it was short and to the point.

Today starts a new series of seven MINI-blogs designed to recognize unhealthy habits.  If you’re like me, I can get into read marriage blogs and think, “Communication, I communicate all the time” and I don’t realize that my communication, even thought it is being done, isn’t being effective.

Here we go…7 Habits of Highly Defective Marriages.

Habit #1: Spiritual Continuity

con·ti·nu·i·ty ˌkäntnˈ(y)o͞oətē/
The unbroken and consistent existence or operation of something over a period of time.
Synonyms: continuousness, uninterruptedness, flow, progression
Matthew 7:24-27 24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
There could be no other #1 on this list.
This is that place where couples get things backwards.  You don’t get everything else in order and then, and only then, do you bring Christ into the picture.  You don’t build the house and THEN install the foundation.  The foundation is first.
Highly defective marriages refuse to put Christ first.
“Well, my wife is the spiritual one.  She’s the one to bring God into the home.” Struggling marriages have one of many things in common: one spouse is working at something that BOTH should be working together on.  Are you the only one trying to bring Jesus into your marriage? If you are in a marriage like that, you are probably frustrated and fatigued. I don’t have any easy answers for you other than “DON’T GIVE UP”!!!!  I want to speak Galatians 6:9 into your life.
So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
There’s no better time than now to tend to the foundation of your marriage. Here in Michigan, we’ve had an obscene amount of snow storms. Case in point…My mailbox:
The trouble is when the storm hits, people come to grips with how well they’ve built the home.  Storms are not the time to build, they’re time to rest in the comfort of what’s established.
Build now.  Set Christ as your foundation now.  Help your marriage to keep from becoming defective.
Next week, #2…
Thanks for letting me ramble…

2 Minute Marriage Devo: “Your spouse is not your enemy” #marriage

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June is our journey through some scripture selections on the topic of Marriage.  I want to invite you to join me. It’s as simple as looking at the blog and reading the passage for the day.  Today’s passage is Ephesians 6:12:

Ephesians 6:12

12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.