Marriage Blog: The Little Things


If you watch enough TV, movies or even YouTube, you get a feeling that you are set up for romantic disaster.  There are so many things to watch that make us feel romantically inadequate.

If you watch an episode of some dating show like “The Bachelor”, you’ll see people romancing each other with, what seems to be, no budgetary and/or resource (restaurants, settings, transportation, etc) restrictions.  You’ll watch movies (probably romantic comedies) where the romantic actions are done with immense proportions that almost makes you feel like you don’t love your spouse because you’ve never did something on that scale.

We can get so wrapped up in a cultural philosophy called: Bigger is better.

But I submit to you this: I like planning big things.  I like making memorable moments.  But (to use a cliché) it’s the little things that count.

We look at all of those shows/movies thinking…
…ONE BIG event is going to propel us into marital health.
…ONE BIG moment will save our marriage.
…ONE BIG date/weekend will heal us.

It’s like saying, “one trip to the doctor will make it all better.” Seeing your family physician is good for you. It’s definitely needed. But what creates health is the every day action steps that follow the visit (fluids, eating properly, medicine, etc). The “ONE BIG” date or moment isn’t bad for your marriage. But like the doctor visit,  it’s the little EVERY DAY things/actions/moments that follow the moment that really matter.

Proverbs 14:15 The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps.

Can I get you to be prudent with your steps and think smaller? Can we get past “ONE BIG thinking” and into the wisdom of “little thing thinking”? Thinking like…

– The first few minutes your with your spouse in the morning will set the pace for the entire day.
– How you leave each other for the day can decide how anxious he/she will be to see you again.
– How you greet each other when you reunite for the evening speaks volumes.
– “Please” and “thank you” help your spouse not to feel taken for granted.
– Reaching your arm around your spouse in bed to pray for him/her speak volumes as well as depths of spiritual commitment.

But why stop there? Start getting practical and creative with “little things”…

– Send/give small thoughts or gestures (notes/texts/messages). If your spouse travels, leave messages in his/her luggage.
– Authentic affection (NOT laced with sexual expectations) will foster deeper intimacy.
– Spontaneous gestures of serving/selfless activity (clean/cook/fix).
– Care for what he/she cares about.
– If you are a parent, give your spouse some relief from the kids.  As the old saying goes, “silence is golden.”
– Use little touches to his/her love languages (acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch).

It doesn’t take much.  Most of this stuff you won’t see on “The Bachelor”. But what the shows and movies won’t tell you, it’s the little things that keeps a marriage healthy and fun.

Be prudent and give careful thoughts to your steps to doing some “little things” every day with/for your spouse.

What ideas do you have?  What little things do you do?

Thanks for letting me ramble…

2 Minute Devos: Crash – Day 8

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Today’s scripture: Acts 1:7-8

He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Crash Prayer Card 2

2 Minute Devo: “The presence of Joy” Acts 16:16-34

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September is our journey through the 2 minute series called “Restoring Joy”.  I want to invite you to join me as we. It’s as simple as viewing  the vlog and reading the passage for the day.  Today’s passage is Acts 16:16-34:

Acts 16:16-34

16 As we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a slave girl who had a spirit ofdivination and brought her owners much gain by fortune-telling. 17 She followed Paul and us,crying out, “These men are servants[a] of the Most High God, who proclaim to you the way of salvation.” 18 And this she kept doing for many days. Paul, having become greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” And it came out that very hour.

19 But when her owners saw that their hope of gain was gone, they seized Paul and Silas anddragged them into the marketplace before the rulers. 20 And when they had brought them to the magistrates, they said, “These men are Jews, and they are disturbing our city. 21 Theyadvocate customs that are not lawful for us as Romans to accept or practice.” 22 The crowd joined in attacking them, and the magistrates tore the garments off them and gave orders to beat them with rods. 23 And when they had inflicted many blows upon them, they threw them into prison, ordering the jailer to keep them safely. 24 Having received this order, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.

25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, 26 and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, andeveryone’s bonds were unfastened. 27 When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.”29 And the jailer[b] called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. 30 Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”31 And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”32 And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. 34 Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.