Kissing Lessons


To quote Porthos in the “Three Musketeers,” he told D’Artagnan “The secret…is in the first kiss for in that first kiss a lasting impression is made. Right, ladies? If it is weak she’ll think you’re weak. If it is comical she’ll think you’re a clown. (…) And as a musketeer is never weak and only rarely a clown you’re first kiss must be all the things that you are.”


Ain’t gonna lie..I like kissing. Like many men, physical touch is my top love language.  Anne knows it’s the language that gets my attention. But today, we’re approaching kissing from two thoughts.

1. The physical kiss cannot be neglected. 

There’s something that I picked up from my parents.  It’s a TRUTH you should live by as a parent: Grossing out your kids is a parental right. 

(Disclaimer: Notice I said “grossing out your kids” not “grossing them by groping your spouse in front of them.” You don’t want to scar your kids. Save the groping for after they go to bed.)

They will hate seeing affection.  They will roll their eyes.  They will complain. And one day, they will thank you for it.  Why you may ask?  Because there will never be a doubt about how you two feel about each other.

Song of Solomon 1:2 [ The Bride Confesses Her Love ] [ She ] Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine

Kissing your spouse  often shows:
1 – A healthy example of affection in marriage.  Don’t be afraid to kiss him/her in public.  I’m not asking you to make out during church.  But some couples keep their affection so private that I have to wonder if there is any attraction between the two.
2 – Passion. It keeps things spicy and alive. It’s a valve within your marriage that allows affection to flow freely. The more you hamper the kiss, the more you suppress passion.
3 – A singularity of the heart. The kiss shouldn’t be taken for granted.  A frequent kiss is the reminder that he/she still holds your heart.

now to the other thought…

2. Honesty is as intimate as kissing. 

Proverbs 24:26 Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips.

My dad taught me something a long time ago.  Trust is fragile.  If it’s broken, it take time to repair.  My twist to his wisdom has been, “Trust is like fine china…if it’s broken, it takes work, patience, and time to put it back together.” Why does it take time? Because the lack of honesty has brought brokeness to the intimacy.

Lack of honesty leads to broken trust.
Broken trust leads to shallow intimacy…or none at all.
No intimacy leads to emptiness….a void.

Without the “honesty” being humbly dealt with…the emptiness leads individuals on a search to fill in the void.  If the void isn’t filled by the spouse as God has designed it, there will be temptation to fill it with something else.

To be a couple that specializes in “kissing,” according to Prov. 24:26, is a couple that seeks to bring truth and honesty into their union. Honesty can be difficult.  Why? Honest can hurt.  Honest exposes what needs to be done/said and not necessarily what the spouse wants to hear. Here’s some tips: 

1 – Timing.  Look for the appropriate time to make sure the distractions are at a minimal.
2 – Tones. Use tones that your spouse isn’t going to reject.  You know them well enough.  Speak in a manner that they are going to receive what you’re are saying.
3 – Tact. If the honesty is a criticism, don’t walk into the situation just to “blow them out of the water.” Use tact. Ask yourself how you would want the comment/communication if it was you.
4 – Temptation. There’s a temptation to ignore certain subjects because of fear.  Remember, to ignore honesty is to invite brokeness.
5 – Treat. (I was trying to think of another word with the letter “T”) To treat a wound is to deal with it in a healing way.  You properly care for it to foster healing and care.

Whether it is the physical kiss or communicating honesty in your marriage, kissing is important to the health and vitality of your marriage. If you are lacking in either, don’t wait.  Don’t put it off.  It won’t take care of its self.

Grab your spouse and kiss em…

Take your marriage, and pour out honesty and truth…

Thanks for letting me ramble…

One response to “Kissing Lessons”

  1. Yes, kissing and honesty are important necessities
    of intimacy to be lived out one day at a time.

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