“What do you really do?” 10 things you shouldn’t say to a stay-at-home mom.

I’ve made the mistake. So have other husbands. Even friends, parents, in-laws, and random relatives have dropped these verbal bombs. For me, it’s as if as the words are leaving my tongue and I began to reach out to try to retrieve them.  For others, the phrases roll off the tongue with little regard for what they might do. And like most thoughtless comments, the damage is done before anyone can have the chance realize what has been said or to apologize for what’s been done.

After dealing with the issue of “rest” here at Kfirst, it is more than apparent that so many people are dealing with not being able to embrace the healthy habit of resting.  Perhaps, the most “unrested” group being our stay-at-home moms.  For years, ridiculous comments get thrown out to so many moms that put more pressure upon them as well as make them feel like less of a human being because they do not do what YOU think they should do.  

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Years ago, we (Anne and I) felt this was the direction we wanted to go for our family and made the sacrifices we needed to make it happen.  We don’t regret it nor do we guilt moms who have decided to work outside of the home either by choice or circumstance.  A mom, working in the home and/or working outside of the home are heroes to our families.  I honor and bless them.  But if a mom decides to be a homemaker…

…then there are 10 statements I’m going to ask you NOT to say to them. 

1. “Did you do ANYTHING today?” Never mind things were cleaned up AND destroyed three times over.  But thanks for noticing. 

2. “What do you do with all of your free time?” Free time? 

3. “Since you have so much time on your hands, you can do ___________.” There’s always the assumption that a stay-at-home mom has endless time, ability, and strength and she can add everything you want her to do for the school, church, neighborhood, and friends. 

4. “That’s all you did today?” It doesn’t matter if it’s from a friend or from her husband, It is a very close cousin to #1 but a bit more demeaning.  

5. “This place is a mad house…when is dinner?” By the time you say that, she may be picturing you in the oven instead of the roast. 

6. “What’s the big deal?  Take a nap when the kids do.” Of course if she does, #1 or #4 will be used. 

7. “Fine, I’ll babysit the kids for a while.” (***clears throat) You don’t “babysit the kids”…YOU’RE THEIR DAD!!!!

8. “I don’t see what the big deal is…the kids act fine for me.”  From the grandparents to “friendly” neighbors, any scrap of feeling like a competent parent has just been squashed.

9. “Being home all day would drive me nuts. I must have something to do outside of the home.”  It seems like well-meaning friend is saying, “you obviously don’t have the drive I have so I’m letting you know how motivated I am.”

10. “Oh you had time to run/workout/read/relax?  Must be nice.” In other words: breaks, meals, and just plain rest applies to everyone but the stay-at-home mom. 

To every dad (and I’d include grandparents): I admonish you to help foster a culture of rest for our moms.  There needs to be moments of quality time with you but they require quality moments of solitude.  Rise to the occasion without being asked. Be their hero and show your children what a Godly dad does for his kids and his wife. 

To every mom, whether you work in or outside the home, I speak a scripture into your life. 

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” – Isaiah 41:13

Every time you feel tired and weary, remember you are not abandoned by God.  He will hold you up.  He will strengthen you. Lean upon him and he will be your help.  

After months of trying to form this blog, I leave you the very first line I wrote when this blog was conceived:

I thank the Lord for our moms. 

Thanks for letting me ramble…

2 Minute Devo: Ecclesiastes Day 3

September is all about diving into the book of Ecclesiastes.  Watch the devo and read the scripture for today:

 

Ecclesiastes 1:16-18

I said in my heart, “I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were over Jerusalem before me, and my heart has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.” 17 And I applied my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but a striving after wind.

18 For in much wisdom is much vexation,
    and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

2 Minute Devos: Crash – Day 18

Welcome to “Crash”…every day:

  1. Glorify God.
  2. Pray over the daily prayer point.
  3. Pray for the lost.

Today’s Scripture: Isaiah 41:10

…fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Crash Prayer Card 3

2 Minute Devo: “Faithful to Finish”

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We started a new series this month called “His Faithfulness” We are looking at the faithfulness of God revealed to us in the scripture.  Take time to read the passage here on the blog or in your own bible.

Today’s scripture: Ephesians 2:1-10

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work inthe sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body[a] and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.[b] 4 But[c] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

2 Minute Devo: “He made them joyful” Ezra 6:13-22

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September is our journey through the 2 minute series called “Restoring Joy”.  I want to invite you to join me as we. It’s as simple as viewing  the vlog and reading the passage for the day.  Today’s passage is Ezra 6:13-22:

Ezra 6:13-22

13 Then, according to the word sent by Darius the king, Tattenai, the governor of the province Beyond the River, Shethar-bozenai, and their associates did with all diligence what Darius the king had ordered. 14 And the elders of the Jews built and prospered through the prophesying of Haggai the prophet and Zechariah the son of Iddo. They finished their building by decree of the God of Israel and by decree of Cyrus and Darius and Artaxerxes king of Persia; 15 and this house was finished on the third day of the month of Adar, in the sixth year of the reign of Darius the king.

16 And the people of Israel, the priests and the Levites, and the rest of the returned exiles, celebrated the dedication of this house of God with joy. 17 They offered at the dedication of this house of God 100 bulls, 200 rams, 400 lambs, and as a sin offering for all Israel 12 male goats, according to the number of the tribes of Israel. 18 And they set the priests in their divisions and the Levites in their divisions, for the service of God at Jerusalem, as it is written in the Book of Moses.

19 On the fourteenth day of the first month, the returned exiles kept the Passover. 20 For the priests and the Levites had purified themselves together; all of them were clean. So they slaughtered the Passover lamb for all the returned exiles, for their fellow priests, and for themselves. 21 It was eaten by the people of Israel who had returned from exile, and also by every one who had joined them and separated himself from the uncleanness of the peoples of the land to worship the Lord, the God of Israel. 22 And they kept the Feast of Unleavened Breadseven days with joy, for the Lord had made them joyful and had turned the heart of the king of Assyria to them, so that he aided them in the work of the house of God, the God of Israel.