The 15-Minute Marriage: Marriage Transformation One Minute at a Time

I’m a sucker for infomercials. They can memorize me by their loud hosts with their crazy contraptions. And if the host has an English accent, they can practically sell me anything (I have issues). 

Most of these advertisements have a certain amount of easy actions to take.  
– 3 seconds to a fruit smoothy
– 4 steps to set it and forget it
– 5 decisions to feel better about yourself
– 2 steps to hang…whatever it is you want to hang

What I don’t want you to think is that I’m giving you a “formula.” What today’s marriage blog is about is simple actions to produce healthy habits in a Christ-centered marriage. And my thought today: 

If I can help someone consistently (every day) dedicate 15 purposeful minutes of their entire day to their marriage, I believe they’re marriage will be completely transformed. 

Take a look…I’ve given you 15 items that take 60 seconds or less to accomplish.  But these minute-long action steps are laced with deep seeded health. 

  1. Take a minute to thank God for your spouse.  Gratitude fosters humility. Thank God for your spouses salvation (or for providing a salvation for you to deliver to him/her). Then start listing things that you are thankful to God for in them. 
    • Here’s some ideas: his/her kindness, generosity, parenting, leadership, work ethic, great sex (yes, it’s okay to thank God for sex), ministry, tidiness, resolve, and patience. 
  2. Take a minute to send random texts during the day to connect or give a simple “I love you.”  A text takes a matter of 5-10 seconds-ish so this pans out anywhere from 4 (for slower texters) to 10 (faster texters). 
  3. Take a minute to think of a way to serve your spouse and put it onto your calendar so you don’t forget. It could be as simple as “load the dishwasher before she asks.” Remember: the little things matter.
  4. Take a minute to connect to your spouse with something that will make him/her smile. Doesn’t matter if it’s a meme you found on social media. Maybe it’s a video clip.  Get your spouse smiling.
  5. Take a minute to speak hope over your marriage. Read a scripture over your spouse and pray it over him/her.
    • Get a bible app. Usually it has a feature called “verse of the day.” Biblegateway.com has verse of the day too.
  6. Take a minute to encourage your spouse. One moment up building up your spouse can make a world of difference. 
  7. Take a minute to think of and initiate some quality time the two of you can do together. 
  8. Take a minute to pray over something important to your spouse.  How do you know what is on your spouse’s heart? Ask him/her.  Think of what they’re gonna think when he/she discovers that he/she is in your daily prayer. 
  9. Take a minute to physically embrace your spouse (especially if you’re not a physical touch person…it’ll shock him/her)Show PDA towards your spouse: holding hands, a touch on the shoulder, a kiss on the cheek, or pat on the bottom.
  10. Take a minute to think of a conversation you SHOULD have. A ten minute conversation can head off a ten-hour conflict
  11. Take a minute to ask God to reveal how you can be a better spouse. Let the Holy Spirit show you some areas of growth.  When He does, walk in obedience. 
  12. Take a minute to ask God to fill your heart with His desires for your marriage.
  13. Take a minute to appreciate your spouse.  Look at the world through his/her eyes and understand what they’re dealing with and going through.  It’ll help you connect and come along side of him/her.
  14. Take a minute to say “goodbye” the right way. When departing from your spouse, refuse to leave unless there has been an expression of love.  
    • Our habit, no matter our mood, we kiss and say “I love you.” When that doesn’t happen, we know something is up and needs to be dealt with.  Usually it’s my crappy attitude.
  15. Take a minute to address a need or situation at hand. Need forgiveness…ask. Need to grant forgiveness…give. Need humility…walk in it. Need to be listen…shut up. Need to be heard…speak up (in appropriate tones). 

That’s it.  15 minutes, that don’t have to be done all at once, will transform you and, thus transform your spouse. Look at that list and you’ll see: 

1 – Out of those 15, five of them center around praying for your spouse.  
2 – None of them put you in a place of superiority over your spouse but pure humility.
3 – Five of them initiate necessary conversation points that can dismantle assumption, confusion, and disagreements.
4 – Four of them put you in a place to think like and for your spouse.  That gets us to get out of our selfish mindsets.
5 – Lastly, none of them are dependent upon your spouse doing anything.  Let it begin with you regardless of whether he/she reciprocates them. 

I challenge you to  step up and add 15 minutes of your day to your marriage. I promise: try it for 30 days and if you don’t see change in you, your spouse, and/or the both of you, I’ll give your money back and pay for the shipping (sad reconnection to my previous illustration).  

Health is a simple things, not easy, simple.  It’s just takes one intentional at a time.  Ask the Lord for patience. Receive his strength.  Follow through His leading with obedience.  

 

Thanks for letting me ramble…

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