Fragile?: Week 3 of developing a heathy marital stance on intimacy.


We head into week 3 of our series on sex.  I’ll begin with a simple TRUTH:

Sex is God’s wedding gift to us.

Now I understand that doesn’t seem very mind-blowing. But with how much of a mockery the enemy has made intimacy, some within the church have steered away from the subject of sex.  We are afraid to talk about it. We delay as long as possible talking with our kids about it.  If our spouse brings it up, we feel dirty (well…not me but many people do).  I’ve even known people to feel bad for liking it so much.  (sorry…I don’t feel bad at all…I’d prescribe it for any married couple.)

Hebrews 13:4 (MSG) says “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband.”

It says, guard.  The word means to keep it from being deformed or defiled.

Notice what it doesn’t say…
– It doesn’t say “only use it for making babies”
– It doesn’t say “don’t enjoy it too much”
– You don’t hear “do sparingly”

It says “guard.”

But too many people have taken such a cautious stance with such an amazing gift that God has given you to use AND enjoy in your marriage.

I love my car.  But having it sit in the garage does the car no good and does me no good.  That’s called “sheltering” the car.  By sitting there, the car is not being “guarded.” It’s potential is being withheld out of fear and concern.  The best way to “guard” my car is to use it as it was designed and intended.

I’m afraid we treat sex like fine china.  We see it as fragile.

We shouldn’t treat sex like fine china…

1 –…because it’s not for display only. A verse I use a lot is Proverbs 5:18. “Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.”  It’s time to get it “off the shelf” and enjoy each other.  My rule of thumb is walk in unity in everything…including sex. Where there’s unity, God commands his blessing. Stop shelving it.

2 – …because it shouldn’t come out for special occasions.   In an episode of “Friends,” Chandler asked why they couldn’t use the china for Thanksgiving dinner.  Monica’s response: She was saving the china for when the Queen shows up for dinner.  To save sex for anniversaries and birthdays, you are missing out on an opportunity to enjoy His gift to you. To deprive your spouse, purposefully, you’re setting him/her and you up for disaster.

3 – …because it’s not an antique.  It doesn’t lose it’s value if it’s used. Someone told me years ago, sex is like a fine wine.  When it’s packaged right, it gets better with age. Sex, packaged in marriage, becomes a greater vintage year after year.  It doesn’t lose the “special” feeling by repetition. It just becomes greater.

4 – Lastly…because it wouldn’t be fun. I’m sorry, I like eating.  But when the china shows up, it seems like I’m on pins and needles.  I become paranoid on using it.  I feel guilty about using it. I feel sorry the food makes the china messy. And it can’t be put int he dishwasher it has to be cleaned by hand.  Sex that involves guilt, fear tactics, and “sorry” feelings doesn’t sound like much fun. When God is in it, he’ll provide the convictions to keep it safe and fun.  The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy the joy in your marriage bed.  HAVE FUN!!!

Enjoy each other.  Don’t let the enemy seed “fine china” thoughts about your sex life.  Live it up.  It’s God’s wedding gift to you.

Thanks for letting me ramble…

2 responses to “Fragile?: Week 3 of developing a heathy marital stance on intimacy.”

  1. Seriously, this really is going to be a book some day, right 🙂 ?
    (Great photo of u & Anne both smiling!)

    1. Thx my friend. I appreciate ya!

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