Christianity isn’t earning God’s love; it’s reflecting God’s love!

Happy Monday! We just came off yet another stinkin’ great day at KFirst!

Props to Nino Guarisco for bringing the Word yesterday at KFirst.  I’ll get you started with a Monday morning quote: “Christianity isn’t earning God’s love; it’s reflecting God’s love!” Peter Haas

And that’s exactly what yesterday morning was about!

Here are 5 things I want you to know about…

#1 – Nino challenged us with having a vision for sharing Christ and seeing the potential of “planting a seed.” He gave us, what I consider, a TRUTH from Chicken Coop, “This life will pass, only what done for Christ will last.”   Nino is the example from someone simply sharing Christ and now get a chance to share Jesus with our future young leaders at the University of Michigan. We’ve gotten so much great feedback from the message. If you missed the message, download it from iTunes  later on Monday or hit the website.

#2 – We are reading through the Gospels as a church!

You can pick up a reading plan at the church…OR…you can join us on youversion.  I firmly believe, consistent doses of the Word brings heart change.  If you need a reminder, sign up for daily emails from this blog and we’ll connect you with the scriptures you need.  Today we are reading Matthew 8, Luke 8 and John 8.

#3 – Be in prayer over our next series “Vampires: Dealing with people who suck the life out of you.  

We are going to do a short 3 week series. We all have vampires in our lives. They’re not the ones with pale skin and fangs – but they do suck the life out of us. So how do you love the people who drain you? How do you handle these relationships? How do you make it work when all you want to do is run? I don’t know about you, but I’ve got “Vampires” in my life.  But more specifically, I think that I’ve been a “Vampire” to others.  I think we’re going to laugh. I thing we are all going to be challenged.  I think we are going to come out of this series called to give life…not “suck” it out of a person.

#4 – Pastor Todd announced our “Light the Night” outreach. It’s coming up this Halloween. LTN is an outreach designed to reach the neighborhood.  We have 3 locations in three neighborhoods in close proximity to the church. If you didn’t get a chance to sign up, contact Pastor Todd at

#5 – Be in prayer over our upcoming elections. I want to challenge you to take some time as an individual and families to pray over our government and local leadership. 1 Timothy 2 says, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,  for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.  This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

That’s all we have today.  Keep up on your reading…and keep reflecting God’s love.

Thanks for letting me ramble…

Seducing your spouse with five senses

You’re thinking about that word “seduce” aren’t ya.  It’s one of those words you hear a preacher say in church that causes you to look at the person next to ya and ask, “can he use that word in church?”  I think people carry a list in the back of their head or bible of things you shouldn’t say unless in an Old Testament KJV context.

se·duce[si-doos, -dyoos]
to lead astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt
– to persuade or induce to have sexual intercourse
– to win over; attract; entice

I have EVERY intention on having this blog accomplish all three.

  1. I want to lead people astray from the mindset that marriage is or has to be boring or hopeless. I want to corrupt that “corrupt” mindset.  It’s time to bring joy and anticipation to our marriages. (Song of Solomon 2:10)
  2. I want to encourage sex in marriage.  I encourage sex in my marriage.  More importantly, God created it, blesses it, and encourages it. (Prov. 15:18)
  3. My main point today: I want to set you on a journey of “enticing” your spouse. I want to challenge spouses to strive to be spiritually, physically, and emotionally attractive.  It is NOT wrong or dirty.  (Song of Solomon 2:8-9)

When pondering this blog, I considered writing and dealing with sex.  If you’ve been at KFirst long enough, you know that I’m not afraid to deal with it.  I believe it has been largely ignored.  In fact, if it has been brought up, it’s been dealt with in such an absurd way that couples are not empowered to enjoy it to the degree I feel the Lord has designed it.  BUT…that blog is for another day.

Attraction goes beyond the physical.  It’s far deeper than that.  It’s an understanding that so many couples struggle with.  Their issues of attraction are so surface that any changes in body, season of life, or circumstances will catapult them toward scrapping the marriage and starting over.  I am not here to harp onto anyone who has gone through, is going through, and/or has been hurt by divorce. I’m hoping to foster an atmosphere of intimacy within the life of a couple and, perhaps, start the healing process in others.

A TRUTH that I have shared for years with both youth groups as well as adults is simply: Holiness is sexy. In other words, showing the attributes of Christ in your life makes you irresistible.  My disclaimer on the word “irresistible”: being more Christ-like will increase intimacy but doesn’t guarantee more sex (sorry guys).  But I promise, Godliness won’t lessen it.  Being Christ-like in your marriage becomes a seduction  (a draw, an attraction, a persuasion, an enticement) toward what should be the foundation of a healthy marriage.  It creates perspective and appeal that cannot be found in anything else.  I though a great way to give marriage perspective and develop appeal is through the five senses.  So bear with me while I ramble…


Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words to my taste sweeter than honey to my mouth!” It reminds me of a custom of Jewish teachers covering the writing slate of young students with honey.  Before they could write words of Torah upon them, they were to lick off all of the honey to remind them of this scripture.  Every taste of honey from that point must have reminded them of the sweetness of the Word of the Lord.  The way to your spouses heart is not through their stomach per say, but the flavor you place upon your marriage.  Some of us, with our attitudes, or selfish demands place such a bitter flavor upon our marriage that, instead of enticing our spouse, drives them away.  Or worse, the sweetness of your marriage shows up in words but not in deeds.  It’s like tasting an apple to find out it was rotten inside.  Don’t be all show and no substance. Take moments to speak and/or pray the Word over your marriage.  Read scripture with your spouse.  Cover your lives with the Psalms 119 “honey” and watch the flavor/taste of your marriage sweeten.


One simple rules when approaching your spouses sense of smell: Bathe.  After a long workout, my wife does not want to be close to me till I shower.  It’s it the dripping sweat…yep.  But more than that, is the smell.  I don’t smell like a workout unless I have been working out.  You don’t carry an aroma of Christ unless you have been in His presence.  To our spouse, we should carry the aroma of our savior into our homes.  That aroma should be caught in all of our marital circumstances…yes even our conflicts.  What “scent” do you carry with you? Does it repulse you spouse?  Does it attract/draw/seduce you spouse? Proverbs 30:12 “There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth.” Is the atmosphere of your home improve because you are home? Do you leave a sweet atmosphere when you leave the room?  They’re tough questions but need to be asked.


This seems like an easy one for me.  This is my love language.  But this was by biggest struggle early in our marriage.  I only thought about “touch” on one level. The more I counsel couples I realize that this is the most abused sense.  One spouse will touch for one reason: sex.  They haven’t learned the art of non-sexual touch.  Now they have condition their marriage that touching only occurs in sexual circumstances.

It’s a shame.

We need more touching in our marriages.  Touching that goes beyond foreplay but conveys a meaning connection point that reaches to the very soul of our spouse.  What touches the heart, mind, and emotions of your spouse? Is it art? Is it food? Is it music? Is it your body? Is it flowers? Is it time with you?

Song of Solomon 1:1-2, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love [is] better than wine.” The first ‘Kiss’ in these scriptures speak of  “nashaq” , which means to put together, gently touch. It comes from the idea of ‘putting things in order.’ The second ‘Kisses’ in the scriptures (from this context) speaks of a continual work of the heart being ‘put together in order, through gentle touches.’

What ever the “touch point” is, master the art of touching your spouse.  Find out their love language and become of student of that language.  Learn that “touch” goes beyond holding a hand but reaching into the deepest part of their heart and lets them know you are still pursuing them passionately.


Men are visual.  So are women…but in very different ways than their male counterparts.  Proverbs 27:19 says, “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.” The heart is reflected, visually, in your life.  September 30th we preaching “from the abundance of the heart a man speaks.” The heart is not hidden.  It is reflected in our lives. You don’t have a choice in the matter.  If you have filthiness inside, like water reflects the face, you’ll give a visual representation of what is lingering on the inside.  Do you hold onto issues your spouse assumed you forgave (because you said you forgave them)? Do you bottle up bitterness? Do you hold in issues because you don’t want to burden your spouse?  Conflict, if handled correctly, doesn’t drive a spouse away.  Releasing your heart won’t deter  them.  You’ll seduce/attract/win them over.


This is the easiest sense to use to tap into. Two things I’ll say to this:

1. Learn and use these four line in a meaningful way:
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I forgive you.

2. Talk. Talk about your day, talk about your thoughts, talk about your worries, talk about what you are learning, anything! Just start talking. When you have run out of things to talk about then just start telling your spouse all the reasons that you are glad you are married and why you would choose him/her all over again! Proverbs 16:24 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

These are some suggestions to read over and ponder, but I think you will find that they can be quite effective. I’m hoping, first, that I’ve helped corrupt a “corrupt” mindset that was hopeless.  Second, if touching the senses of your spouse leads to the bedroom (or any room for that matter)…you’re welcome. And lastly, I hope this does set you on a life-long journey of pursuing your spouses senses.

Do you have other way’s of tapping into your spouse’s 5 senses? Guys, what do you think? Women, what would you recommend?

Thanks for letting me ramble…