pdave.me

I sat with a missionary the other day who wanted to stop in and thank our church for our years of support. It was a fantastic time to reconnect before she went back into the field and continued serving the nation God has called her to. She started telling me stories of people whose lives have been changed by the power of Christ. I loved seeing the smile on her face as she shared her experiences of witnessing the women God has transformed during her ministries, and whom God  is now using to reach other young women in their own communities. 

She then told me about a young lady whose name they’ve been helping to get changed. I wish I could remember the new name she selected as it was beautiful (but was very hard to pronounce). I’ll admit, her birth name is what stuck in my memory as it was easy to remember. It’s one that I won’t soon forget. Her name is Niccu. 

I know what you may be wondering, “Why does this missionary and her leadership want to change her name?” The name came from where she was born. 

When I first heard it, I assumed it had to do with a village or town that she was born in. 

Nope. 

Then I thought, perhaps, it had to do with a family name. 

Nope. 

The missionary told me Niccu was named after the part of the hospital she was kept in due to the complications of her birth. We know this ward as the neonatal intensive care unit or the NICU. This is the portion of the hospital where babies who are prematurely born or are dangerously sick are kept and cared for. THIS is where her name came from. This young lady lived her life constantly tied to an event that reminded her of her battle to try to stay alive. The missionary was wanting to give her a new name tied not to her struggle but to the new identity she’s found in Christ. 

I get it now. I understand the urgency to introduce a new name to her. I do understand that some may be offended at the idea of someone changing their birth name. Some in our American culture may not care as much about the meanings of our names, yet there are plenty of people and cultures where chosen names carry not just meaning but identity. 

My name is David. For years, I tied meaning and identity to that name. When I was young, I attached “shyness” and “timidness” to my name. SInce I related to those words, I began to live out tha identity. As the years passed and when emotional struggles started showing up, I also began to associate the words “anger” and “shame” with my name. These feelings developed into a new identity. Each strong feeling that presented itself to me became nothing more than another identity attaching itself to me. 

This is what depression does. This is why I fight for those going through depression. The darkness wants to swallow you up so that you live out what IT has created. Depression wants you to live according to what it has dictated you are, and who you will become.

We must remember, truth trumps feelings. I had to learn to grasp onto what is true, regardless of what it is that I am feeling. 

My name is not “depression.”
My name is not “darkness.”
My name is not “failure.”
My name is not “broken.”

My name is David and I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) by God. 

Though I may face emotional struggles in life, I am not defined by them, nor do I have to listen to their terms and conditions. Christ has the final say in my life, not my emotions. Jesus has given me life to live regardless of what my feelings want to tell me. 

Some of us are allowing what has happened or is currently happening to become our identity. Some of us are holding ourselves back because of a “NICU” moment and we’ve never allowed ourselves to move past that. 

It’s time to take our identities back.
It’s time to hope again.
It’s time to redefine who we are and live from that place. 

There is a Hope. And his name is Jesus. 

P.S. Check out my new book about my journey through depression coming out September 7. (www.speakingfromtheshadows.com)